Barview/Netarts Bay

[AB219]

Hi

Anyone up for a dive at Barview or Netarts Bay on the Oregon coast on 1/30(Friday). I will be up at Barview around 12PM to check out the conditions at the Jetty....

gl

[AB219]

OK....

Looks like we have a few people coming:

Max R. Dog

Divegear

Cooler

Turkey Sandwich....

Anyone else like to join us???

[AB219]

OK....

Looks like we have a few people coming:
Max R. Dog
Divegear
Cooler
Turkey Sandwich....
Anyone else like to join us???

Hmmmmmm..... Looks like it is just me and you Max!!!!

Max- "Hah....don't you realize it is still winter?" "Beside, my fee to guard the truck has gone up to 20 dog biscuts... no peanut butter added please."

Gary- " Max my best furry pal old buddy... whatever you want!!!" " Just don't puke on the seat again.... "

Max- "Can you tell me a "Dive Log Story" before we head out on Friday?"

Gary- "Anything for my buddy, what you want to hear?"

Max- " I like the one about "Herman's Revenge"!

Gary- "That one is funny, but kind of a sore ending for me..... how about the story that happen around the time I went to Hawaii.... " Get ready.......no drinking liquids while reading this story.....


Dive Log #432-436
12/7/02-12/16/02

“Things to Remember”

It was the vacation that I had promised to my wife for the last 12 years
and finally we were leaving to the islands of the great state of
Hawai’i. The island of Moloka’i to be exact. The calm water was warm and crystal
clear. Thanks to Bill Kapuni’s charter service, we had a great time diving the
pristine reefs with the Sea Turtles and Manta Rays. But, I came up with a few
things to remember when I head back to the warm Hawaiin waters, .........and believe
me the sooner, the better.



Item One:

This was formulated even before the trip started! Just two days before
we flew out of town to Hawai’i, I was at home having lunch. I was gobbling down my
meal of Burritos...”Like a P.I.G.”... But, being civilized, I was using a metal fork. I was down to my last bite when I bit down with full force into the burrito and right smack into the metal fork. I heard the
crunching of the metal fork to tooth enamel. A lightening bolt of pain started shooting through my lower front
inscissor tooth. I raced to the bathroom mirror to check out the damage. I looked deeply into my reflection of my open gapping mouth filled with burrito remnants and found.....!!!

Yep...cracked that tooth right down the center.

Hours after the incident, and every time I breathed in or out through my mouth, pain
would shoot down that tooth. Drinking a cold glass of water was not an option,
unless you are into pain. All night long I laid in bed in pain, contemplating what I
should do. My wife wanted me to go to the Dentist, but I came up with a better idea!


I drove down to the hardware store early the next day and gathered up my
supplies. Cotton balls, Kleenex tissue and Crazy Glue.... Yes, that instant type
glue that glues in 30 seconds!!! I told my wife what I was going to do and how much
money we were going save for our dive vacation, by not going to the Dentist. Her
disgusted response with her eyes rolling back inside of her head, “Your going to glue your eyes shut,”
as she quickly exited the bathroom shaking her head.

I thought to myself, “Ya right....I’ll show her...does she think she married a
blooming idiot!!”

I stood there in front of the downstairs bathroom mirror and started to
stuff my mouth full of cotton, I needed to control the flow of mouth juice. Next, I
wiped down my cracked tooth with the tissues, I needed to get that tooth dry. And
lastly, I unscrewed the cap on the crazy glue bottle and raised it into position. I
started to squeeze the bottle to get the flow of glue going....,but nothing
happened. I squeezed and I squeezed,until I felt my eyes were about to pop out of my eye
sockets. But not a drop of glue was flowing out of that bottle! Perplexed and in a
hurry to get this procedure over with, I pulled the bottle out of my mouth and
inspected the tip of the bottle. Of course, I kept it a safe distance away from my
EYES... I didn’t want to glue my eyes shut!! I noticed on the tip of the bottle,
that I had neglected to cut the tip off so the glue could flow.

“Hmmmmm,” I thought to myself.

I searched around in the bathroom drawers for some type of cutting
instrument...nothing could be found. Then I had a brilliant “IDEA”!!

I’ll just bite the tip off .....! Using my “Good teeth,” I started
attacking the tip of the bottle like a dog chewing on a rawhide bone. I gnawed on
that tip until my goal was completed. After spitting the tip out of my mouth, and
being the very careful, safety conscious guy I am(safety first). I started to wipe
my lips off with a white tissue, just in case I spilled some crazy glue onto my
lips. Good thing! Because, I did drip a few drops in the cutting process. I
notice this very quickly, because I had a massive amount of white stuff glued to my
lips.!!!!! Undaunted by my newly holiday like decorated white lips, I continued
my task. I was really motivated now to show my wife I could do this without gluing
my eyes shut!! I raised the bottle of glue back up to my mouth and squeezed a small
amount of glue onto the painful area of my tooth.

By now the cotton in my mouth was getting super saturated with the old mouth juice!!

I didn’t want to swallow and I didn’t want to spit anything out of my mouth for at
least another 30 seconds....juice started to slowly drip from the side of my
mouth!!! In an inspirational instant I came up with another brilliant idea!!

I closed my mouth sealing my lips shut tight. I then inflated my cheeks
up like a chipmunks cheeks filled with nuts.... It worked!! I had plenty of room
for that old mouth juice to go and I only needed to keep it in this position for
another 20 or so seconds. I sat there in agony waiting for that 20 long seconds to
go by. I closed my eyes tight hoping this would make time move faster....!!!

Finally, the 20 seconds elapsed. I bent over the sink, ready to expel
the juicy cotton balls in my mouth..... There was only one problem! ....
”My god, my wife was wrong...I didn’t glue my eyes shut, but I did glue my STUPID -
MOUTH - SHUT!!!”

I guess I didn’t clean my lips off well enough when cutting...I mean, biting that
plastic tip off!! I started screaming to myself, “STUPID,STUPID,STUPID.” I just couldn’t believe, I glued my chipmunk cheeks, saliva filled, white tissue lined lips shut. I stood there quietly pounding my
head against the mirror asking the ocean god Posiden,

”Why me!!!?” (Can you spell I-D-I-O-T)...
Naaaah, an idiot couldn’t get himslf out of this situation!

Then I thought, “All I need is a little finger nail polish remover!”

But there was only one problem... It was located upstairs where my wife
so happened to be. Not wanting her to see me in this position and admitting
defeat...I came up with a better IDEA!!!! (Hey, come on, I’m a certified SCUBA DIVER
with “XY” chromosomes, I can handle any situation!!!)

I looked into the mirror, grabbed my upper and lower lips with my
fingers and yanked as hard as I could. Just like I planned, my lips came flying
apart....also with about a quarter inch of lip skin!!! My eyes started to water from
the pain I just inflicted upon my lips. I closed my mouth trying to muffle my
screaming cries of pain,.......

Then I started to think,”Why did I shut my mouth again!!!! I was
beginning to wish I had gone to the DENTIST...

(Nope, like said, I’m a guy I can handle this, By - MY - SELF!!!!)

Luckily because of all the blood and saliva, my lips were not glued together again.
I stood there looking deeply into the mirror inspecting my white, saliva dripping,
bloody red lips. I started smiling into the mirror to inspect my tooth when my wife
walked in. I turned to her and said with a smile pointing to my tooth, “All
fixed!!” She looked at me with a really disgusted look and started to shake her
head. Then she murmured in a mother like voice,

“AT LEAST YOU DIDN’T GLUE YOUR EYES SHUT!!!”

Hey...the morning was still young.... Then another brilliant “IDEA”
came to me! I jumped into the car and drove into town to see my DENTIST!!!!



REMEMBER TO:
1) Never bite into a metal fork and keep crazy glue out of reach of divers!!!

2) When tour riding with a Mule or a Horse. Never ride an animal that has a
Hawaiian name translated into English....as “BIG WIND”!!!!! Or should I say never
ride behind it!!

3) Bring bug spray....”A LOT”.. Poor Patty, Mosquito’s ate her legs until it
looked like burnt cheese on pizza.

[nwbobber]

Good story. I would love to join you tomorrow, but alas, I have an appointment with my dentist. Shucks

[Leithius]

How did the trip end up being?

[AB219]

Vis. was actually pretty good. Around 10-15 feet, not to many crabs around and saw some nice Lings.
When the water calms down, I will be heading back to the Barview Jetty for a dive.... Your welcome to join me.

g