Worst diving movies you've seen

[spatman]

made it through about....half. When the piranhas reached the size of Volkswagens and started leaping from the water and exploding when they hit buildings I fell asleep, but my friend tells me there was additional diving. And they did do a demonstration quality helicopter giant stride entry into blackwater, if my memory is correct...

that's really in the movie? ok, i need to rent that one now...

[Nwbrewer]

So, um.. are there any GOOD dive movies? There are many great documentaries, but are there any entertainment films worth watching?

"The Abyss"

+1!

[cardiver]

Hey I'm in need of help from my fellow Divers. I want to do three reviews of three awful diving movies. I have Open Water and The Cave, of course, but I'm having trouble finding a third movie that actually involves SCUBA diving as a main part of the plot. All of the more recent movies I find are all about swimming, free diving, or submarines. Anybody know any bad movies? Like the kind of movie that makes you want to just take the disc out and burn it because it's so awful? I would prefer recent films. The farthest back I'm willing to go is 1990.

I already got my hand slapped once for posting a pic from The Deep (1977) because I offended someones sensibilties. It's older than you want to go but you do get to watch Ms. Bisset dive.........
I hope this is "G" rated enough.......

[dwashbur]

I actually like both Into the Blue and Fool's Gold. I like Into the Blue because the story is good, the humor is delightful and the acting is well done. Plus, there's all the diving of course. And the scene of that guy trying to fend off sharks with a mop is worth the price of rental all by itself

I like Fool's Gold partly because of the story, partly because of the wonderful chemistry between Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaghey (sp?), partly because of the humor - Gemma flapping up to the back of the boat with her fins on? Great! - and partly because it has Donald Sutherland. He makes just about anything good.

I did enjoy The Deep. The two bad ones we have so far are Open Water and The Cave. The Abyss is outstanding, of course, and I may catch some flak for it but I even enjoyed Into The Blue 2.

So we still need one more horrible movie that *focuses* on scuba diving.

[John Rawlings]

I had a heckuva great time watching "The Cave"!!!! The acting sucked, the plot was ridiculous, (it was a monster flick, after all!), but the actual underwater scenes were great!!!

- John

[dwashbur]

I had a heckuva great time watching "The Cave"!!!! The acting sucked, the plot was ridiculous, (it was a monster flick, after all!), but the actual underwater scenes were great!!!

- John

Agreed. The whole monster thing was what ruined it for us. They could have had a really great movie without that nonsense.

[Chenari]

Hmm maybe. I saw some divers in there. Have you actually seen it, Elise?

I made it through about....half. When the piranhas reached the size of Volkswagens and started leaping from the water and exploding when they hit buildings I fell asleep, but my friend tells me there was additional diving. And they did do a demonstration quality helicopter giant stride entry into blackwater, if my memory is correct...

Hmm has possibilities, we'll check it out, thanks. Keep the ideas coming, this is fun.

[renoun]

In case you missed it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkF5VMRJ ... re=related

The trailer actually has bit with divers on doubles.

Joel Silverstein worked on the underwater production of Piranha 3D and posted a thread about the work on DMX last spring with a few photos from the set.

[billandwende]

Watching open water is what got me thinking about learning to dive.

Sorry, I actually liked it. Maybe I missed something?

I also like this.

http://www.wimp.com/sharkkissing/

[lizard0924]

Watching open water is what got me thinking about learning to dive.

Me, too.....oh and the promise of exotic, warm water dive vacation destinations.

[billandwende]

Watching open water is what got me thinking about learning to dive.

Me, too.....oh and the promise of exotic, warm water dive vacation destinations.

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

[Chenari]

I watched Open Water for the sake of writing the script for my review. I remembered it being awful, but I didn't remember just how awful. Let's just say that this movie pissed me off to no end, and it takes a LOT for a movie to do that to me. Let me break the movie down for you: 75% boring conversation, 10% unnecessary scenes that attribute nothing to the plot, 10% the couple floating in the water doing absolutely nothing to try and save themselves, 2% timestamps, 1% random shots of the sky and water, 1.5% actual diving, and finally, .5% ANY ACTUAL PLOT. And believe me, I'm being generous with that last half a percent.


An example of the sheer incompetence of these filmmakers: In the movie there is a scene where the two suddenly start yelping in pain and discover they're floating through a bunch of jellyfish. Now, rather than go and find some kind of Jellyfish that at the very least looks threatening, these people apparently decided to use the very first jellyfish they found. Behold, the amazing jellyfish that stung these people, not just through their skin, but through 3MM WETSUITS: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3598/350 ... 160150.jpg

[lizard0924]

I watched Open Water for the sake of writing the script for my review. I remembered it being awful, but I didn't remember just how awful. Let's just say that this movie pissed me off to no end, and it takes a LOT for a movie to do that to me. Let me break the movie down for you: 75% boring conversation, 10% unnecessary scenes that attribute nothing to the plot, 10% the couple floating in the water doing absolutely nothing to try and save themselves, 2% timestamps, 1% random shots of the sky and water, 1.5% actual diving, and finally, .5% ANY ACTUAL PLOT. And believe me, I'm being generous with that last half a percent.


An example of the sheer incompetence of these filmmakers: In the movie there is a scene where the two suddenly start yelping in pain and discover they're floating through a bunch of jellyfish. Now, rather than go and find some kind of Jellyfish that at the very least looks threatening, these people apparently decided to use the very first jellyfish they found. Behold, the amazing jellyfish that stung these people, not just through their skin, but through 3MM WETSUITS: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3598/350 ... 160150.jpg

If you want total realism in a movie, why not just watch a documentary? Movies are escapism for me (and for a lot of other people, too), and this movie was more about the pure psychological aspect of being in a situation you cannot control rather than what *type* of jellyfish is stinging the stranded divers. Besides, 99% of the people watching it are NOT divers (and likely don't have any idea how to distinguish between a moon jelly and a Portugese Man o' War).

At any rate, I'm sorry the movie ellicited such a vehement reaction from you. That simply doesn't sound healthy.

[Sockmonkey]

I think the real story with Open Water (the first one) is how it was made rather than the film itself. Four people (including two actors) and a shoe string budget swimming around with real sharks? This makes the DVD extras far more compelling than watching the feature. No special effects, less than $200k budget and filmed on weekends in the Bahamas in and around the film makers busy lives. How they managed to piece all that together to create any semblance of a story with that much tension is a feat that shouldn't go unrecognized. I didn't need a traditional story arc to enjoy Open Water... nor did I need realism.

Of course if it was supposed to be set in the south pacific they do have those box jellies that kill people on a regular basis... even through skins and wetsuits. It's a big enough problem on the great barrier reef that they net off public beaches for swimming.

And really... I'm one of those people who have strong opinions about totally insignificant things... especially movies. I figure if I'm going to get worked up about something it might as well be about minutia. And I enjoy a bad movie maybe more than the next guy... but you should have seen how angry I was leaving the theater after "Van Helsing" .. I was red in the face.. and if you know me in person you'd know that is tough to do.

-Eric

[John Rawlings]

.... but you should have seen how angry I was leaving the theater after "Van Helsing" .. I was red in the face.. and if you know me in person you'd know that is tough to do.

-Eric

You didn't like "Van Helsing"?????? Oh, the horror! The horror! :queenliz:

[dwashbur]

If you want total realism in a movie, why not just watch a documentary? Movies are escapism

Nobody asked for "total realism," but there's no reason to be that inaccurate, either.

this movie was more about the pure psychological aspect of being in a situation you cannot control

It did a terrible job of that, too.

[lizard0924]

If you want total realism in a movie, why not just watch a documentary? Movies are escapism

Nobody asked for "total realism," but there's no reason to be that inaccurate, either.

this movie was more about the pure psychological aspect of being in a situation you cannot control

It did a terrible job of that, too.

Your use of the potstirring emoticon, notwithstanding, I'm really not interested in debating the relative merits (or lack thereof) of motion pictures with you. Or Chenari....despite her mad skillz as a movie critic....(insert sarcasm emoticon here).

[Chenari]

Of course if it was supposed to be set in the south pacific they do have those box jellies that kill people on a regular basis... even through skins and wetsuits. It's a big enough problem on the great barrier reef that they net off public beaches for swimming.

My point exactly. There are many more jellyfish out in the sea. At the very least, they could have found something that looks more menacing. I know that most of the people watching aren't divers, and that's not the point. If you make a film with a sport like Diving in the plot, you have got to make sure that you're accurate. And as it is, the reason I got so worked up about this film is because when you take a good look at it and really WATCH it, you'll see just how insulting it is to Divers.

Seriously, go watch the movie again and keep in mind all of the boat diving experiences you've had, then come back to me and say to my face that these people are not the most incompetent, careless, stupid divers you have ever seen. And also keep in mind that the people who run this boat are most likely Dive Masters at the very least. THEN tell me it's unhealthy to get angry about it.

[dwashbur]

If you want total realism in a movie, why not just watch a documentary? Movies are escapism

Nobody asked for "total realism," but there's no reason to be that inaccurate, either.

this movie was more about the pure psychological aspect of being in a situation you cannot control

It did a terrible job of that, too.

Your use of the potstirring emoticon, notwithstanding, I'm really not interested in debating the relative merits (or lack thereof) of motion pictures with you. Or Chenari....despite her mad skillz as a movie critic....(insert sarcasm emoticon here).

I'm not interested in debating either. It's a matter of personal preference, nothing more. I just thought I'd have a little fun with you

[dwashbur]

Of course if it was supposed to be set in the south pacific they do have those box jellies that kill people on a regular basis... even through skins and wetsuits. It's a big enough problem on the great barrier reef that they net off public beaches for swimming.

My point exactly. There are many more jellyfish out in the sea. At the very least, they could have found something that looks more menacing. I know that most of the people watching aren't divers, and that's not the point. If you make a film with a sport like Diving in the plot, you have got to make sure that you're accurate. And as it is, the reason I got so worked up about this film is because when you take a good look at it and really WATCH it, you'll see just how insulting it is to Divers.

Seriously, go watch the movie again and keep in mind all of the boat diving experiences you've had, then come back to me and say to my face that these people are not the most incompetent, careless, stupid divers you have ever seen. And also keep in mind that the people who run this boat are most likely Dive Masters at the very least. THEN tell me it's unhealthy to get angry about it.

I'm inclined to agree that it makes both divers and boat operators/divemasters look like complete doofuses (or is it doofi?). At the same time, I tend to agree that you're a little too worked up over it. Save it for the review!

Back to the original question: what are some other movies that folks would consider really bad diving movies? Eliseaboo, we're waiting for Mega Piranha from Netflix, thanks for the reference! More! More! More!

[lizard0924]

Of course if it was supposed to be set in the south pacific they do have those box jellies that kill people on a regular basis... even through skins and wetsuits. It's a big enough problem on the great barrier reef that they net off public beaches for swimming.

My point exactly. There are many more jellyfish out in the sea. At the very least, they could have found something that looks more menacing. I know that most of the people watching aren't divers, and that's not the point. If you make a film with a sport like Diving in the plot, you have got to make sure that you're accurate. And as it is, the reason I got so worked up about this film is because when you take a good look at it and really WATCH it, you'll see just how insulting it is to Divers.

Seriously, go watch the movie again and keep in mind all of the boat diving experiences you've had, then come back to me and say to my face that these people are not the most incompetent, careless, stupid divers you have ever seen. And also keep in mind that the people who run this boat are most likely Dive Masters at the very least. THEN tell me it's unhealthy to get angry about it.

Wow....are you for real? It was a FREAKING FICTIONAL MOVIE not a public service announcement for scuba diving. Get over it. If you get this worked up over a movie, I hate to see how you react to REAL problems in REAL life. Again, all I can say is.....wow.

[airsix]

Is this what it feels like to the women when we guys go after Dash? Liz, Chenari's just a kid (no offense Chenari), so uh, maybe take it easy.

[billandwende]

I once posted a question on this board that got me slapped around. Since that time I have refrained from contributing to the constant BS that pops up. After this post I will go back to lurking and only posting in dive planning.

I regret that my opinion of a stupid movie did not sit well with the self important movie goers on this site. It was only my opinion. As for the reality in movies argument.... MOVIES ARE NOT REAL. Issues can be raised in ALL movies.

I still liked it. And it was instrumental in getting me into diving. How many movies get you to do anything? I didn't see Top Gun and join the NAVY. I didn't see The RIGHT STUFF and become an astronaut. I didn't see silence of the lambs an become a KILLER or FBI Agent. I saw this movie and thought with the exception of all the bad bits. Being left, being stung by jellys, and being eaten by sharks. That hey this diving stuff looks pretty cool and I should look into it.

[Joshua Smith]

I once posted a question on this board that got me slapped around. Since that time I have refrained from contributing to the constant BS that pops up. After this post I will go back to lurking and only posting in dive planning.

I regret that my opinion of a stupid movie did not sit well with the self important movie goers on this site. It was only my opinion. As for the reality in movies argument.... MOVIES ARE NOT REAL. Issues can be raised in ALL movies.

I still liked it. And it was instrumental in getting me into diving. How many movies get you to do anything? I didn't see Top Gun and join the NAVY. I didn't see The RIGHT STUFF and become an astronaut. I didn't see silence of the lambs an become a KILLER or FBI Agent. I saw this movie and thought with the exception of all the bad bits. Being left, being stung by jellys, and being eaten by sharks. That hey this diving stuff looks pretty cool and I should look into it.

I watched Pretty Woman and became a hooker.

[lamont]

+10.0