About two bites into my "burrito", I notice there are a few things missing. Things like tomato, sour cream and cheese. Hmm, cook must be having an off day. That happens to everyone, no biggie, I'll just go in and straighten things out with the TacoTimeans. I head back in, and poliely inform the cashier of the error. The cashier responds, "No sir, there is no error". Excuse me? I am mildly annoyed at this, but since I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding, I explain again.
Me- "See, I ordred a burrito, and you gave me a taco. I would like a burrito please".
TacoTimean- "Sir, that is a burrito".
Me- "No, it isn't. A burrito has meat, cheese, lettuce, sour cream and tomato, all wrapped in a tortilla. What you gave me clearly does not".
TacoTimean, pointing to the picture on the menu- "No sir, you have it backwards. A taco has all those things, a burrito is just meat and lettuce".
Alright, I'm getting angry. This is stupid. There are two basic truths about tacos and burritos that everyone knows, and so I procede to explain them to this jack@$$...
Me- "Listen, here's how it works. Burritos have more stuff in them than tacos and are bigger than tacos, that's why they have a bigger name with more letters. Also, the tortilla used in making a burrito will overlap, whereas a taco will simply be folded and maybe "pinched" at the top".
TacoTimean- "Sir, if you want a taco, we'll make you a taco".
Me- "You already made me a taco, I want a burrito. That's why I'm standing here, remember?"
TacoTimean- "Sir, that's a burrito".
Wow. I mean, just, wow. Is this guy actively seeking to piss me off? Am I on "Punk'd" or something? You can't possibly expect me to believe that this sorry excuse for food is a burrito. I know burritos, and you sir are no burrito.
Me- "Let's start over. This (gesture to taco) is a taco. That (pointing to menu picture) is a burrito. I want a burrito".
TacoTimean- "Sir, you already have a burrito. Would you like a taco?"
Me, barely containing rage- "Take the tater tots out of your ears and listen closely beanboy, here's what I want. Go in the kitchen and find a tortilla, and fill it with dead cooked cow, lettuce, sour cream, cheese and tomato. Wrap the tortilla around the rest of the food, insuring that the tortilla OVERLAPS, and bring it to me".
TacoTimean- "No problem sir, I'll get you a taco right away".
That's it. That did it, right there. This paper-hat-wearing part-time button pusher has just sprinted past the tipping point, and he's not looking back. I'm seeing red, and I can hear my heart pounding in my ears as I try to resist the urge to hop the counter and
this dude. Through the wave of anger and hate, I know I have 3 choices. #1, die on the spot from a combination heart attack/aneurism. #2, go to jail for ing a TacoTimean. #3, get as far from this unholy madness as possible. It might have been the toughest decision of my life.I leaned in close over the counter, put on my best stinkeye, and growled at the TacoTimean "I. HATE. YOU." Then, leaving the TACO on the counter, I turned and left.
A short time later I found myslf sitting in a Taco Del Mar, enjoying a Mongo Burrito and thinking rationally again. I pondered how it could be that a Mexican restaurant could be so far off when it comes to Mexican food. What sort of heathenistic @$$munch would create such a place? How is it that the American people have allowed such evil to exist among them, spreading taco dimentia amongst the populace? Do people really buy into this blasphemy? Don't get me wrong, tacos are great, but I wanted a burrito.
I hope that beanboy and his minions are an isolated cell, and I hope in this post I have raised awareness of the nefarious nature of these "burrito identity thieves". If it is too late though, and their meximadness has permeated society, I vow to stand as a point of light in the darkness by wich others may navigate back to sanity and sweet burrito lovin', the way the Creator intended. Sometimes if you want to stand tall, you have to stand alone.
with water and drink it, not snort the powder directly from the packet, right? 
" - Spatman
They are just a basic taco, but good. The best is their hot sauce, it's awesome!
This is my favorite smiley!!
