Yes, that was me not too long ago. Ok, up until a few hours ago actually.
But now my kit looks like this:
Backstory: I have older Apeks regulators with the huge 1/2" primary port. To improve my hose routing I wanted to flip my regulator over. I couldn't do this without a new 7' hose with a 3/8" fitting. I also needed to shave several inches off my suit inflation and wing inflation hoses. Being inflicted with DIY dorkiness I couldn't help trying to find some bare fittings and crimp collars. I thought that if I could find the fittings and collars I could make up my own hoses and then just take them down to the local hose & fittings shop to have them crimped (dies are expensive). While I was searching on-line for the fittings and collars I discovered something even better.
Ambient Pressure makes THIS screw-on, re-usable 3/8" hose fitting. I had never heard of these fittings before, but they are apparently well known and widely used in Europe and among the rebreather crowd. You might raise an eyebrow at the idea of a screw-on fitting, but having worked with other similar high-pressure screw-on fittings (such as Aeroquip) in racing and aviation I don't have any reservations about using them. In fact AP claims to have manufactured over 1MM units with not a single reported failure.
A quick "How it works": The fitting is made of two pieces. The outer collar functions like the crimp collar on a standard fitting, however the inside diameter is threaded. The threads are a steep reverse (left-hand) pitch and very deep. The fitting end has a long nipple and standard right-hand threads. When the two pieces are assembled with a hose sandwiched between it forms a very secure mechanical lock. The hose is gripped on both the inside and outside by threads which are pitched in opposite directions. It isn't going anywhere.
Here's a few shots of the assembly process. First you need a hose that's too long, and an AP hose fitting which you can buy HERE.
Next use a sharp knife to squarely cut off the unwanted length of hose. Don't cut off the wrong end and don't cut it too short. If you aren't sure about the length then cut it a bit long and try it. Remember, this is a re-usable fitting. You can take it off and shorten the hose further if needed.
Now thread the collar onto the freshly cut hose end. Remember, the collar has reverse threads (left-hand). Forget righty-tighty. This one is lefty-tighty. Thread it on until the hose bottoms out. If you turn it too far you'll see the bottom of the hose start to deform against the base of the hole. Back it off a bit if it does this. Bottom it out, but don't deform it. It should look like this:
Now the fitting end can be threaded into the collar. Make sure the threads are lined up properly. A good way to do this is to insert the male end and slowly turn it anti-clockwise until you feel a click. That click is the thread terminations slipping off one another. Stop, and begin turning clockwise. The threads should mesh perfectly. But be careful just in case. Like all things scuba these pieces are just soft brass with a thin candy shell.
When you feel the fitting bottom out against the shoulder of the collar make it snug and you're done.
With 3 of these I was able to convert my regulator from 1/2" to a standard 3/8" fitting and take almost a combined 12" off my suit and wing inflation hoses.
So much cleaner, and much easier to reach my valve too.
So there you go. A custom length hose for $17, and no special tools required. And if your hose ever starts to abraid at the collar edge (what usually happens) just dissasemble, cut off 3/4" and reassemble. If the hose is too short just grab a stock hose (cheap), cut it down to the desired length, and re-use your re-usable AP fitting.
Happy diving.
-Ben
with water and drink it, not snort the powder directly from the packet, right? 
" - Spatman
