We lost one of our own today

[spatman]

i've been tossing and turning most of the night. what's kept me awake was trying to figure out why jake's passing has effected me the way it has. i never really met the guy in person. i chatting with him via email a little, exchanged a few good-natured ribbings with him here on NWDC, etc.

i had expected the news of his passing would have made me sad, losing a member of our community, a close friend to some of us. one of those moments of small shock at the news, a slight feeling of loss, empathy for his close friends and relatives.

all that is true, and maybe to a higher degree than i had anticipated. i was started to view jake a a friend in the making, so my sadness was notched up an unexpected degree or two.

but as i thought about it, what really started to sink in was that jake's passing in a reminder of the frailty of human life. no one really knows when their time is up. we are not as invincible as we would like to think. i'm not going to devolve in to a nihilistic diatribe with this but i just want to say:

jake lived life large, and to the fullest. he was gregarious, inquisitive and had the ability to surround himself with people who developed care for him quickly and purely. we should all learn from this, strive to be better to each other and to ourselves. we should live each day as much as we can and cherish those who are part of our lives.

this was a hard lesson to be reminded of, jake. we will miss you. r.i.p.

[BASSMAN]

I think it's tougher when it's in our own group of dive buddies here.

Just like when Alaska Airlines had that plane crash in the water a few years back. It was sad to hear of plane crashes from other airlines. But when it was the airline I worked for? Wow! what a difference that made to my emotions. I'm feeling some of those same emotions now.

It should be a real, wake up call for alot of us. I know I could be healthier(sp?) or is it more healthy.

[Sounder]

i've been tossing and turning most of the night.

Me too.

He really liked you, Matt. He thoroughly enjoyed your exchanges and, as he put it, "flipping you shit." He respected you and considered you a good friend.

Angels are never who you expect them to be, and they don't stay as long as we'd like them to.

He, without a doubt, touched many people in the short time he was part of our community. He showed up and instantly he was "one of us." He was adopted by the pack - he made it easy just by being himself. Funny, bright, and so excited.

I woke up this morning with significant (and painful) bruising and cuts on my legs from the rocks and very sore neck, arms, and shoulders. We really gave it our all - he couldn't have been in better hands. I can only imagine Lynne is as sore as I am today too - thanks for bringing your A-game.

[mattwave]

Off to Cove 2 to teach, it will be hard to focus on the task at hand, I am so glad that Big Fame touched so many people here, I feel fortunate to have spent so much time with him, to have those beers and laughs that some missed, time that will be cherished forever. Struggling to ignore the "What ifs" in my mind, the if just this could have happened or that, even though my experiences tell me those thoughts are needless. Big Fame will always be a part of NWDC and the local diving community, his effect will last as the tides flood and ebb, so will his memories in our minds.

[Ken G]

Such a tragedy. My condolences go to his family and loved ones

[Dive 4 God]

I had sent Jake an PM yesterday afternoon to see if he wanted to join my husband and I on a dive today at Cove2. When I got home last night, I excitedly got on here to see if he had replied. Unfortunately, I was greeted with news of his death instead. I let out a wail when I read it because I was in such shock. Not someone I wanted to get to know! Not someone I was going to meet today!!! UGH! I HATE THIS! I'm a newbie too and thought I had found a kindred spirit in Jake! We are supposed to go diving today, but I don't think I will go...I"m still upset. Jake, my next dive will be dedicated to you! I pray you are in heaven having the best dives ever and reporting them to Jesus! We will miss you terribly! I'm praying for your family and friends left here....

Trish

[ORDiver]

Just yesterday I was reading "Cove 2: A Comedy in Two Parts" and laughing my ass off. I never met Jake in person but you could tell from his posts he was a cool guy. What a bummer. Rest in Peace man.

[Fishstiq]

Now of course I have never dove this site, I am not familiar with the workings of local government, and I have no photos or anything to share, BUT I have been working on an interpretive dance to help communicate my thoughts on the sunject that I would be willing to share at the meeting if someone can get ahold of The Jeff Healey Bands "Angel Eyes" on audio cassette.

Jake wrote this in a PM when some of us were talking about the loss of Mukilteo as a dive site and the town hall meeting. It cracks me up every time I read it, picturing Big Jake doing his "interpretive dance" to Angel Eyes in the middle of a town hall meeting... I don't know where or how he came up with stuff like this!

[Sockmonkey]

From an ocean away I too just woke from a terrible night's sleep.

There are a few clichés you run across in life that gain immediate weight in the moment. Typically contrived, the one I can't get out of my head is "It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy." Taken out of context or from someone looking in on the situation there would be nothing more trite to say when someone dies. There is no greater truth associated with Jake's death.

Jake once came to my house to pick up some lead I didn't want to ship, we stood in my basement talking non stop while drinking the coffee he was kind (and smart enough) to bring me. Even in the madness of trying to pack my life up to move, I couldn't help but make the time for him. After listening at the top of the basement stairs my wife gave me a rescue phone call to my cell phone (which was upstairs and off) wondering if I just couldn't get rid of this.. and I quote her... "Chatty Cathy". I'm a little stand-offish and quiet with people at first. But not with Jake. It was so easy to be around him I didn't want him leave.

His curiosity about diving and the people who dive seemed to know no bounds.

Self deprecating yet confident. Outgoing and cocksure but always afraid of alienating himself to the point of showing his lack of self esteem. Having no inner monologue to speak of, more than once he admitted to fretting over terse emails from experienced scuba divers wondering if they didn't like him... but at the same time plowed through getting to know the very same person.

He radiated kindness, but not in an annoying saintly way. Unless saints came with a sardonic teasing sense of humor. Even in his last few emails to me he managed to find a way to be a support for me about the hardships of moving to another culture within the US. Jake chose words that not even my oldest and closest friends could come up with.

I must admit I was a little jealous of Jake. He asked questions about diving I wish I had thought to ask. He was born into the Seattle diving womb where if you have the right mothers and fathers you'll always buy it nice, not twice. Jake was on the precipice of becoming a skilled thinking diver faster than anyone most had ever seen. For all my years of diving and struggling get where he was headed... I was jealous... but mostly I was proud of him.

Have you ever cooked a meal you couldn't duplicate? If you take all the ingredients of Jake's dedication, positive outlook and enthusiasm and put it in a mixing bowl with the truly unique Seattle diving community you create a totally one of a kind recipe. One we'll never see again. Mostly I'm sad to not see that mixture come to fruition in the form of a lifetime of diving.

I didn't know him well enough to find out if the personal struggles he endured made him live his life the way he did, but I'd like to think so. What I do know is that NWDC went through a few months of some petty and catty behavior. Starting around the cabin fever of the December holidays things got weird around here. Jake nearly singlehandedly changed the tenor of this place. So the next time you're trying to force feed someone else your scuba kool-aid take a moment to step back and try to decide in what way would Jake pick on you for being a dick.

-Eric

[Sounder]

WWJD? He'd laugh at your ass and invite you to "go camping."

FWIW, Jake was also incredibly touched when he started seeing his words quoted in signature lines. It REALLY meant the world to him that some of the people he so highly respected and looked up to cared about and enjoyed him enough to quote him.

I really had the "behind the curtain" look at him - he loved NWDC and he loved everyone who reached out to him like family.

Like I said before, if you ever needed help with something, Jake would come right over... and he'd show up with tools and beer.

[lurch]

I'm coming up on my spring break. Haven't been in the water in a month thanks to school. I was looking forward to diving with him when I finally had some time free. I mean really looking forward to it. Talk about a kick in the balls. He exemplified the best in us. Enthusiasm, dedication, willingness to learn, laugh and live we should all be so lucky to have. The world is a better place because of him.

Edit: Thanks airsix, I always end up sticking my foot in my mouth.

[airsix]

The world is worse off now.

I understand what you mean, and you are correct. But in other ways the world is a better place too. Not because he died, but because he lived. Right this very second there are hundreds of people who are doing a self examination and asking the question "How can I be more like Jake." We are worse without him, but we are better because of him.

-Ben

[Zen Diver]

[We are worse without him, but we are better because of him.

-Ben

Well said Ben.

Jan, your beautiful tribute had me, like Tom, balling when I saw it. I was hoping you'd do something, and the simple, yet beautiful art you created was absolutely perfect. Thank you.

-Valerie

[DiverBob]

My wife and I were very sad to hear the tragic news about Jake. It was through tears and silence that we both sat together and read the post's. We did not know him personally, however we always looked forward to reading and laughing with him about his diving adventures! Our thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends at this very difficult time.

[pogiguy05]

I would like to send my heartfelt thoughts and prayers to Jake's family and friends and all those who lost a great guy. I never met him but after reading all these posts I wish I had met him.

I am a bit of a procrastinator but I now know I need to take my Rescue Diver course. It is not for yourself it is for the ones you dive with cause you never know who you can help in their time of need.

I do not not wish to sound insensitive, but I was thinking could we make the upcoming club dive at Redondo a Memorial to Jake?

[Joshua Smith]

I just recieved this email, and I wanted to share it with all of you:

Good Afternoon Joshua, 1st I wanted to say Thank you and all your members
for all the Kind works you all have left about Jake.
Jake was an employee of mine and we are all very sad about his passing, he
has a lot of stong bond's with a lot of our employee's. He will be missed
very much by all of us.

I talked to Jakes father a little bit ago, and wanted to pass on to you
that there will be a memorial here in Ballard at Valentines Barbor Salon,
Tuesday night at 7:00 March 10th. 7912 Greenwood Ave. N Seattle, Wa. 98103

I don't have any more information at this time, but as I get more I will
drop you a note.

I hope you don't mind, but I have invited our Local Employee's to check out
your thread on Jake, we have stores from Yelm to Burlington and almost all
the employee's had the pleasure of meeting or talking to Jake at one time
or another.

Thanks Joshua, Jerry

[Sounder]

Thanks Josh - I'll be there. I'll post any further information I get as well.

-Doug

[Scubak]

Wow!!!
I am at a loss for words...
My thanks goes out to his dive buddy ,Sean, Sounder and Lynne for all you did for Jake.
Jan, your artwork is beautiful.
My prayers and thoughts go out to his family and friends.
K

[smike]

I stood next to Jake at the Mukilteo City Council Meeting, and I didn't introduce myself. I was overwhelmed with getting ready to speak, and I missed meeting several of you, including Jake. I figured out who he was, and thought "I need to meet him"

My loss.

I cried today too, along with all those who have commented. Thank you very much for all you have done, Doug, Lynn, Sean. I hope your sleep gets better, as I know you have grief. I feel for Jake's family, and I wish them well. We will all miss Jake, there was so much to learn from him.

Mike

[spatman]

From an ocean away I too just woke from a terrible night's sleep...

thanks for writing that post, eric. you put into words a lot of what i've been struggling to grasp myself.

[enchantmentdivi]

Rest in peace, Big Fame One....

Sounder and LCF--I thank you. Not only do I thank you for everything you did that day on the beach to save his life, but, I thank you for being there so that you could relay your first hand account of what transpired. You were there for for so many reasons. One you may not have thought of.... With your knowledge of what happened, his memory and reputation have been preserved. Without you there, I imagine this board would be behaving a bit differently, as I have seen in the past...speculating, judging.... Instead of us guessing at what may have gone wrong, you were there to tell us that everything went so right for him. I've been thinking a lot about this. I am so thankful that he got to experience such joy and pleasure in our peaceful, beautiful, cherished underwater world before he passed. A little slice of heaven before leaving this world....

[Norris]

I really dont know what to say. A sad day indeed and such a great person. His recaps were so great to read and I just know he was a good time, I just never got to see in person.
My condolences to his family and friends and Sounder and LCF we are lucky to have you around as was BigFameOne. I'm really at a loss......

[mwhities]

I'm not sure what to say. My weekend was not so good. Eric sent me this link Saturday and I tried reading it. I finally finished reading all of the posts today. I just couldn't continue reading as I became to emotional to continue. Just the thought of losing him really hurts. Why? I guess because I found someone that was new to diving like I am and has the same passion for it.

I never met Jake like most of you had but, he and I had a great relationship over the Internet. He'd ask me and talk to me about everything scuba. A snip of one of our last few convos on Gmail chat:

12:10 PM bigfame: im using my wetsuit till i can afford to get that drysuit going
we dove last night, then it snowed like 3 inches. its cold as hell and i am trying to talk my buddy into another dive
im losing
me: hahaha
If I were there, I'd dive.
wet or dry.
12:11 PM bigfame: thats why i dont leave you alone Michael, I know I can bug you but I like that you love diving. some of the divers out here think its all old hat and unless you are on a rebreather going to 300 feet its boring. i spent 19 minutes yesterday to a max of 32 and loved it. i like your attitude about it which is why i keep bugging you
12:12 PM me: hehe
No worries. I'd be happy in 6' of water.
(I wish we had that here locally.. hahaha)
6' with 5' viz!
I'd be happy.
I have 100+ but 00000000000 viz. :|

He really loved scuba diving as you all know. I miss him not being on this morning. I'm going to miss him for awhile.

I wish I could make it up there to meet him in person but, I can't. I'm going on a cruise this weekend and I'm diving in St Thomas. He'd talked about diving in warm waters and really wanted to do it. So on the 17th, I'm going to do my two dives for him. I'm sure it'd mean a lot to him. I'll get to depth and hover there for a minute and maintain depth for him. Think of it as a moment of silence.

Also, anyone know if he was diving an 8' hose? He asked me what I did on my singles and told him that I dove an 8' as I'm tall and big around. I told him that the 7' was just not quite long enough for me to look to the left but, the 8' was perfect. And that the 7' was perfect on doubles. He said he'd ordered one from his LDS. Please let me know if anyone knows... It'd mean the world to me.

I am missing you Jake. You know, the good ones die young.

Michael

EDIT: Ohh and it's Jake's fault I have an account here... He made me get one.

[spatman]

Ohh and it's Jake's fault I have an account here... He made me get one.

you're always welcome on this board, michael. stop by anytime, and definitely come up for a visit. there are plenty of other folks here who share jake's passion and would be happy to dive with you.

[Sounder]

Hi Michael - yes, Jake had ordered an 8' hose on your recommendation and it's sitting at our LDS... unfortunately he never got to try it, but he definitely appreciated and enjoyed your friendship.